Read this if you drive and are a jerk:

I want to rant about stupid people who drive cars.

Yesterday, as I was crossing the street, at the crosswalk, with the little dude showing that I was allowed to cross, a douche nozzle in a truck tried to mow me down. And he called me a “stupid bitch” in the process.

Really? How does the ability to cross the street, when I have the right of way, make me a “stupid bitch”?

Not to worry, I flipped him off with my enormous middle finger. And instantly felt bad. ISH. I mean, I probably should have screamed “Jesus loves you” or something equally Christianly and turned the other cheek, but I have to deal with shit constantly and it really gets old.One of these days I think I will bash someone’s head into their steering wheel for being so inconsiderate.

Ugh, isn’t it a basic human right to be able to cross a street, intelligently, without getting dead? I mean, dude, you can drive, like, 100 mph; the maybe 5 seconds it takes me to walk across the street is not going to delay you all that much. SERIOUSLY.

I always have the worst trouble with trucks. Okay, I get it, you drive a big truck and have a small penis. But why is my ability to put one foot in front of the other such a threat to your masculinity? I’m just a girl in the world trying to get places. Without harming the environment. Okay, that’s only partially the truth, I also walk everywhere because I’m not allowed to drive because I maybe kinda sorta couldn’t afford car insurance a couple times  thus making me a HABITUAL OFFENDER. Which looks pretty scary, huh? Baby, I’m bad news.

But anyway, if you are a driver and a jerk. Please, stop being a jerk. How would you like to be minding your own business, following traffic laws, and then suddenly out of nowhere see your life flash before your eyes and be yelled at. For no reason? NOT COOL. Where is your Christmas spirit? Goodwill towards men (and women)? Oh right, you don’t have it. Because you are a jerk. You will have a crappy life with that jerky attitude, so you need to stop. For your own good.

While we are on the subject of rude people in cars, I would like to take a minute to (re)share this little thing:

That pretty much sums up my feelings on that. Don’t honk or holler at me, please. It just makes me grab my pepper spray.

xx

t

 

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